Sarie

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 22:52:36 GMT

In 4 days I leave for Africa.

I will be there for the next 5 months.

I have not packed.

At all.

Holy shit.

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:39:15 GMT

I am currently dating the most incredible guy.

So much else is going on with me, but I really just felt the need to say that.

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 06:39:20 GMT

"I hate the fact that I still haven't written this paper... it's just stupid of me not to. My vacation could be so nice right now.. except that I still have a 10-pg paper looming over my head. Yuck."

me a year ago... funny how some things never change

...and fabulous how most things do.

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 17:30:54 GMT

midterms kind of suck a lot.

And i'm sorry to everyone that has been trying to get in touch with me/call me... my phone is severely broken, and while the person I'm talking to can hear me, the amount I can hear is severely limited. It's kind of driving me crazy actually... I can't even talk to my mom.

It's sad how little I want to write in this thing anymore.

Life's good. chaotic. kind of intense. but good.

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 23:26:11 GMT

mmm a bit of an update while I have a lot of work to do:

- Montreal was insane... no words can describe the amount of fun and joy that arose from such a delinquent trip with two of my loves... the only thing that would have made it even better was having Kate as our fourth... but alas, we had to settle for hot husbands found in caves, random drunken boys who became obsessed, soft-core strippers, fabulously varied music, and interesting conversations about customs and the border.... love you girls.

- School so far has been great... the first couple of weeks included many a shit show and several run-ins with SJS. I was a bit skeptical about being back and there were quite a few days when all I really wanted to do was run home and be back in this past summer... but things are turning out well. Living with the girls has been wonderful even though they're all quite insane and dealing with their own busy lives, quirks, and mental breakdowns. I'm impossibly busy and loving every second of it... and yes, if you haven't realized through facebook... I am even pledging a sorority - Sigma Kappa- they are the perfect balance of social, party-goers and academically-minded, activity- driven girls... even though I've just met them.. I have a feeling it's going to open me up to a lot of possibilities and make my busy happy life even busier... and if that's not shocking enough, I've even made up with the crew team. *gasp*

I hope everyone is doing superbly at their respective schools... many of you I've hopefully spoken to (or tried to speak to) and it seems like this is going to be a great year. Shout me a holler if you're bored, sad, busy, happy - whatever.

Update on Kate

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 22:45:44 GMT

So I'm sure many of you have been wondering about how kate is doing in India.. and Penny just called to give the report.. I'm sure Kate will update when she gets back.. but I'd thought I'd let y'all know what I know.

So after spending being completely alone in Paris, Kate arrived at the airport with mostly adults to discover that their leaders weren't there to meet them like they were supposed to... so the group had to navigate themselves from airport to airport without the help they were supposed to have. When they finally met up with the leaders, the leaders announced that everyone had to chip in an extra $500 each b/c the trip was "more expensive than expected" and that they would take them all to a bank. My wonderful kate (who I'm so proud of) was the first to speak up and inquire about what this extra money was for... at which point the group found out that the group they were supposed to be staying with for the 2 weeks (who Kate had been told were like the Mother Theresa of India)... was actually a cult where they would have to wake up at 5am and chant for two hours... Some of the people in Kate's group had been completely aware of this fact and were actually followers of the cult, while others (like Kate) had no idea... The people who couldn't pay the money were told that they would have no where to stay... and many of the younger people ended up turning around and going straight home.

Fortunately for Kate, George had some contacts in India who she was introduced to before leaving for India... so she's ended up spending the two weeks staying with those families and enjoying India as more of a vacation than experience.

How horrendous is that? I mean... jesus... luckily, things worked out for her and she's ok now... so I thought all of y'all might want to know.

My cheeks are enormous... work is going to be hell tomorrow morning.

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 22:09:52 GMT

So today I went to get my wisdom teeth extracted... and upon taking my x-rays... they discovered that I have not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE wisdom teeth. He said it's one of the oddest things he's ever seen... I had like a mini, dwarf-like tooth right next to my other wisdom tooth on the upper right... how incredibly odd am I? On top of that... he also said my roots are incredibly long and curved... which made them ten times more difficult to take out... but he said it's good b/c it's a sign of incredible genes and I will never ever lose my teeth...

So moral of the story: my surgery was ten times more painful and difficult than the average extraction. During it i was fine... i was cracking jokes and smiling the whole time.. but now... I have never been in so much pain in my whole life. While my mom was racing to the pharmacy to fill my perscription... I was shaking with the pain.. it was rather disgusting. Not to mention the amount of blood coming out of my mouth and the fact that I have 20 stitches. Then again, I am now so drugged up on percoset that I'm sure, this entry is incredibly ridiculous... and I get to eat all the milkshakes/frappucionos I want for the next three days... healthy eating does not exist when you are in this much pain.

On another note... I really love pilates. I went to my second class at the saw mill the other day and the instructor asked me at the end how long I'd been doing pilates... I told him it was only my second class and he was really shocked and said I seemed to have a natural instinct for it and knew my body really well.... which was probably the funniest thing I'd heard all day considering we all know how I have absolutely no coordination and am a huge ass klutz.

I can't wait for school to start! Although the summer has been winding down amazingly... I've been having a lot of fun and aside from the fact that my lovely Kate Schuster is absent and I haven't been able to hangout with some of my other favorites *ahemvivianleahsabrinaahem*... I've been pretty busy and enjoying myself. Ocean City was so much fun and I'm really excited to live with those girls this year... especially since we already have plans to go to the MIA concert in september and dance ridiculously to galang. Work has been going really well except for the fact that my illness has been preventing me from working as much as I'd like/should. But today I somehow managed to keep my energy up and I've gotten really close with a lot of the guys I work with... I'm kind of gonna miss them, even if on Monday I know I'm going to get so much shit since I'll probably be still be swollen from this damned surgery.

This is probably the worst/least interesting/nonsensical entry ever due to the Percoset currently coursing through my veins... so if you read this, i apologize profusely.

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 00:03:01 GMT

I accidentally ripped my nose stud out of my nose while I was rushing to get ready for work this morning... it hurt... a lot.

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 04:51:17 GMT

Mainly thanks to Ciara, but with the aid of many others, the last three days have been a true shit show of sorts. Thursday night definitely proved to be a bonding experience for myself and Ciara as we embarked on an outing with Morgaine and some of her hispanic friends to Le Chave in New Ro. Oh my jesus, what an insane night... it was definitely... interesting. Between the whole ordeal of pre-gaming, driving there, trying to blend in with the locals, and getting way too many drinks at the bar to avoid undesirable dancing... it turned into quite the little shit show for Ciara... I, of course, was the designated and had to endure awkward conversation with one of Morgaine's truly nice friends while Ciara was passed out in the front seat as I drove the three of us home.. in Morgaine's car. But all in all it was really a lot of fun and quite the little kick off to the weekend... So props to Morgaine for inviting us... it's been great actually getting to hangout with that girl a lot more than I used to.

So after getting home way past 4 in the morning, I managed to wake myself up the next day in just enough time to hit the gym and then begin preparations for Day Two of the shit show... which def. was the epitome of the shit show. Ciara's party turned out really well... and although it was certainly quite the interesting mix of people, I'd like to think we all had a really good time and maybe even resolved some issues between a few people. Particular props to Robby for sobering up enough with me at the end to serve as the clean up crew for those who couldn't quite hold it all in... it was probably as good a time you can possibly have while cleaning up other people's vomit. The night was certainly quite the success... leaving me 50 bucks poorer, 5 grams richer, with a very large bruise on the shoulder, and with many interesting pictures. Oh yeah, and with the most incredibly vivid dream about... the container store. Yeah, that's right... I dreamt about the container store... oh man, I may have a slight addiction.

Anyway, I guess the point of all this is that, after thinking about it today, I'd like to just thank everyone from home. Whether it was everyone who helped to make last night terribly ridiculous, Sofia for being my mom or making awkward situations funny, Ciara for driving around aimlessly into the wee hours of the night, Vivian for sometimes managing to squeeze me in to her busy schedule/making me happy when she happens to be at the gym at the same time as I am, Ang for being my lifeline through one year at Gdubs and recounting countless memories, or Kate for letting me come sit in her house for hours and borrow her family... everyone at home is really quite essential to my existence. Regardless of whether I see you once a summer or everyday, you people keep me sane. At school it's so easy for me to just lose sight of who I am and what makes me, me.... but coming home and being surrounded by the people who helped to shape me into who I am, makes me remember. I know this is so corny of me, but I really am greatful to all of you for embracing me as little or as much as you have, for not always agreeing with me and challenging me when I'm incorrect, and for just really enriching my life with the little things.

I know I'm really lame, but like, even if I'm having the greatest time of my life at school, coming home to all of you is I guess what really matters. You guys were all there, during the good, the bad, and the ugly, when it really mattered... and I'm glad we all have the summer to remember that, and to maybe take a couple steps back and re-remember where it is we all were. I don't know, I'm... so lame. Please excuse this ridiculously long and drawn out entry, but I felt as though I needed to somehow express my appreciation for everyone from home... even those I might not speak to anymore or those who I don't get to see a lot.

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 21:11:34 GMT

Sometimes I'm amazed that its already been a month since I left school... other times, I'm amazed that its only been a month.

I finally feel like I'm settling into a nice little summer routine. Once my background check is done, I'm going to be working at the container store as part of the "visual distribution team". I have to be at work at 5:45 in the morning... which may seem ridiculous for many but is absolutely perfect for me. I help unload trucks, restock shelves, design headers, and maintain the overall orderliness of the store along with helping customers. I'm actually really excited.. I'm now part of a group of 20 or so people on the team... and for the most part, they are all really friendly and energetic... and surprisingly, a lot of them are pretty young. So I'm pretty psyched about it... which is really lame of me, but we all knew I was lame a long time ago... Not to mention I get payed really well and have a 40% discount...

In other news, I've been doing South Beach... which apart from last night's binge with Ciara, has been going really well... I'm not doing it so much to lose weight, b/c I don't need to but more because I need to start eating a lot healthier. Between my horrendous eating habits, not sleeping enough, etc.. etc... last year was not a healthy year and I want to change that. I've also been going to the gym *a ton* which has been awesome... and hopefully I'll keep it up when I go back to school.

That's basically all that's happened... otherwise I've been spending as much time as I can with all my friends and trying to just hangout and enjoy the summer drama-free. I really just want to put any shit I have with people behind us and enjoy everyone's company and their positive attributes. Thus far, it's been going really well and I've just been really having a good time with everyone.

Things to look forward to:
-Ciara's
-Oasis.
-Meeting stupidhead (aka Jeff)
-Starting work
-My party
-4th of July
-Nantucket with my girls
-Ocean City, Md.. again with my girls
-Just enjoying the summer

So yup, I'm basically just really boring but enjoying myself.. there's a fair share of time when I'm bored and restless, but that's def. to be expected and will probably dissipate tremendously after I start working... I hope everyone else's summer is going super...Yup.

Wed, 04 May 2005 01:38:29 GMT

I'm really home sick...

There, I said it. I know I've basically said it other times, but now I admit it. I.miss.home. I.want.my.mommy. I.want.my.daddy.

I.am.five.years.old.

Things here are ok, the usual crap with Joe... the usual being ostracized by the crew team... the usual being betrayed by people who were supposed to be my friends but have gone to the dark side (aka Joe's "side).... the usual tons of work that will never possibly completed to a sufficient level.

As much as things sound like they suck here, I'm really not that miserable. Things are pretty shitty but like, they could be so much worse. And the fact that I may be facing some huge obstacles in my future really puts it all in perspective.. it all just seems really stupid.

On the plus side, I've realized how much I can rely on the 5 girls I'm living with next year... while in words I've always said I was close to them..not until now did I really feel like I was close to them. They've stuck by side through all of this crap for the last two months.. and for that I'm really greatful.

Sometimes I really miss kate. Currently she's in Kansas with her boyfriend and I'm very much happy for her and the great life she has found herself in, but right now I could really use the support and the reminder from my best friend that I'm not an awful person and am only just a scapegoat. Yep. That would be nice.

I'm really looking forward to going to New Orleans with my family for my sister's graduation.. I actually really miss her and it'll be nice to see her doing better and have that reminder that I don't need to worry about her anymore... for now. Plus, the sunshine and being there with my parents and grandparents will just be really comforting.. not to mention the barhopping I'm sure I'll be doing with my sister. Then again, I also have to face the impending doom that will come with my grandparents discovering I have a nose stud.

Greg Stone.. a boy who I had a crush on at nerd camp when I was 13 and he was 16... just checked my webshots... I find that pretty amusing.

Oh yeah, my glands are getting larger.

I knew i had something of actual importance to say in this dumb thing.

Back to working on my paper and feeling melancholy.

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 04:48:23 GMT

Monday June 16, 2003:
Today:
I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, got ready for school... and attempted to drive over to Ciara's at 7. After driving past her house about 4875974897 times I finally got it right and arrived about 40 minutes late. Much to my dismay, Ciara was already halfway done with her essay and I got very very mock mad at her.. but then it was cool. Yeah so I wrote my fourth quarter grade essay in 45 minutes, we got bagels, and arrived to class at 9:55... only 5 minutes late.. not bad. Sooo class was retarded we didn't really do much.. what we DID do is hear Broggy's stories about when he was a pledge for his fraternity.. they put him through some crazy shit... electrocution, chewing tobacco and peanut butter, jumping 3 stories, massive assive paddlings.. lol yeah. it was pretty funny.

....It's things like that they make me really happy. You gotta love the random bouts of walking down the livejournal memory lane...

So thanks for everyone's support and advice... I know I didn't respond to it, I guess I just did the freak out thing for a couple of days and then went into denial mode.. which may or may not be healthy but it def. makes me able to function a lot better.

I'm beginning to seriously look forward to this summer, with things here being kind of crazy and with my rehashing of the past... I'm really looking forward to spending time with everyone back home. I don't know if all of you feel this way... but it's really comforting to me to have all of you to go home to, even if we haven't talked all that much this year.. it still feels like we can still fall into our old patterns of hanging out... not to mention, at least as I see it, there's an unsaid level of support where if we really needed to... we could ask for each other's help in a second. At least, I hope you all feel the same.. if not, then just remember you can count on me.

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 20:05:05 GMT

What the doctor said:

The Good Things:

My blood work is normal.
I had mono a long time ago and just didn't realize it... so i can't get mono again
My swollen glands might be due to my wisdom teeth

The Bad things:

My swollen glands probably aren't because of my wisdom teeth
It might be lymphoma.
The bump on my head is a cyst on one of my sweat glands.

What all of this means:

Once i get my wisdom teeth removed, if my glands haven't gone down, I have to go in for a byopsy so they can figure out what's going on.

The cyst on my head won't do anything, but it can get infected... so I have to have it removed. So I'm going to have to go in for surgery, have my head shaved, and get a cyst removed.. probs. this summer. My hair will be gone.

Worst day ever.

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 03:33:02 GMT

Because of one tiny phone call... my life as I know it, is in shambles.

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 00:53:10 GMT

OK... so I know I dont normally do this.. I know that this thing is normally as self-absorbed as everyone else's... and it probably will be again after this entry.. but I feel that this is important. So just take a second... and gain an education.

On April 6, 11 years ago... a plane was shot down that was carrying the Rwandan president... this incident launched the beginning of the Rwandan genocide that took 800,000 innocent lives in only 100 days. Take a minute and just think about how many people that is a day... it's staggering.

Currently, in Darfur, Sudan... a country in Africa... over 400,000 people have died in the last two years... the humanitarian crisis is now escalating dramatically and it's expected that over 1,000,000 people will die by the end of this year. A million.

It is now estimated that 15,000-35,000 people are dying each month in Darfur and that this figure could rise to 100,000 per month... and while the U.S. government has been the only country to officially recognize the situation as a genocide.. the U.S. has still failed to actually act on it. We KNOW it's a genocide.. but don't DO anything. The U.N. has acknowledged the situation as Crimes Against Humanity... except fails to act on that knowledge.

Along with the people who are dying, MILLIONS have been forced to move into refugee camps... and those are the lucky ones. Many women are being raped, killed, or even forced to live in rape camps where they're subjected to brutal treatment until they eventually die.

This situation needs to be stop before it's yet another genocide that we could have stopped.. but failed to recognize until too late. I was at a rally today in front of the white house to increase awareness of this issue... Payne.. the representative from New Jersey and Danny Glover (an actor..) both spoke.. so it's obviously a widely known and pertinent issue to top figure heads as well.

There is so much we can all do.. even if it's as simple as buying one of the Save Darfur bracelets... (they're like the livestrong ones.. except green and they say "Not on my watch. Save Darfur.")

So if you're like, a real person.. just take a second, especially on this memorable day... and go to www.savedarfur.com or www.africaaction.org and just educate yourself... at the very least, try and educate those around you before it's too late for the people of Darfur and they become just another genocide like Rwanda, Cambodia, or Armenia... this can be stopped... more just has to be done.

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 07:02:32 GMT

I'm just so done.

Sun, 06 Mar 2005 22:20:23 GMT

If my concentration sounds like wreckage, it's 'cause I got a new feeling every thirty seconds.

Currently, I am feeling that deep, in-the-pit-of-your-stomach, longing, hungry, emotional, about-to-explode feeling... why? I don't know. Who towards? absolutely no one.

Just a longing, a longing for something new, or maybe something old in a new form, or maybe something familiar in an uncomfortable setting, or something uncomfortable in a familiar setting, or just... something.

I'm so tired of school... not academics, I'm in love with some of my classes. Not training, that makes me more content than anything. Not my friends, as kate discovered.. they're pretty cool. But just tired. I'm feeling melancholy, bored, in desperate need of a jolt to my inner framework. Damn, it's frustrating.

Kate and i had a pretty good weekend... it was definitely odd having someone I'm so closed to in this alien environment with me. As tara said, our school... because it's in a city.. is a little bit more like living in real life... so I think it made it just that much weirded. But we had a good time, if not dramatic... it was nice.

I've realized that it's much easier to find people at home who relate to me than people here who relate to me... why? b/c everyone at home shares the same sarcasm, the same edge, the same ultimate thought process... and here... very few people get me right now. I'm lucky for rod... if i didn't have that one person who just totally and completely understood... I'd probably go insane.

If anything, I need spring break just for the sake of exposing myself to something very foreign... maybe it'll be the little jolt fix i need to come back here and deal with the more trivial. Or not.

Going in a circle and it's keeping you around.
You've been here forever but you've never been found.
You didn't want a witness
and I didn't want to see you living on your knees.
Rocket boy.

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 14:26:34 GMT

And if we get together we’d be twice as clever
So staple it together and call it bad weather

I love Jack. His new CD is the one shining light in my week of hell... that, and Kate.. but you know. Ha....

She gets here in 9 hours. 9 hours. I have 9 hours to complete as much work as humanly possible.. hence the fact that I'm online at 9am instead of working. Let's list everything coming up in this next week and a half, shall we?

Paper for Sexuality in US History
Midterm Paper for Sex.
Midterm in Environments... tomorrow
Lab for Environments... tomorrow
Midterm in German Lit... Friday
Articles for Social Psych... today
Reaction Paper for Developmental
6 hours of training videos to watch for DCRCC
An email to DCRCC about availability times
A talk with the library about how I did not lose their video
Request form to be Exempted from the Withdraw rule.. along with a detailed explanation of situation

Yeah, I think that's pretty much about it... funny how it looks almost manageable when you put it in a succint, numbered list... too bad that's actually far from the case... Oh yeah...

12. Somehow entertain Kate while doing all the above, going to class, and attending my regular training. Heh.

Fourteen songs just doesn't seem like quite enough to calm me down... don't fail me now Jack, all this petty examining is getting in the way of my actually enjoying my classes. I'm in love with my Sexuality class... it seems like a cop out, but it truly is a very tough history class... replete with primary documents and 500 pg. works about every aspect of sexuality and history and culture you can imagine. And yet again the thoughts of being a history major plague my mind...

Last night in training we got to talk with people "up there" in DC politics/policing.... never in a million years would I have thought such important people would feel what we do is important enough for them to open themselves to our questions, comments, and attacks for a couple hours... but surprise, they do. It's hard not to feel animosity towards the USAO/MPD when our first instinct is to immediately believe the survivor... and their first instinct is to immediately find holes in the survivor's story... but I guess that's why we're even part of the process.

A sign of maturity is realizing the limitations of people, places, and relationships... and then accepting it.

Work.

I hope this old train breaks down then I could take a walk around

And I got no time that I got to get to where I don’t need to be

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 04:24:53 GMT

Oh yeah, I forgot this:

"Because of physiological changes in certain hormone producing
metabolic pathways during aerobic and anaerobic exercise, SWIMMERS and
ROWERS are the most sexually active athletes" -Time Magazine

hehehehehe....

Fri, 18 Feb 2005 04:27:04 GMT

No no just another phase of finding what I really need
Is what makes me bleed

Random Damien Rice lyric stuck in my head.. yeah, that's right... it's the return of the lyric.

I just listened to the funniest conversation b/t Meliss and her boy toy who is really really drunk right now.. oh god drunken phone calls are so wonderful.

I'm finally getting over this stupid flu. I think having the flu might be one of the worst things you could get... it's so awful. But what's wonderful is when you're finally getting over the flu and you all of a sudden have lots of energy... and you know that in almost 24 hours you will be home where your mother will baby you and make you lots of food and you will sit on your ass on your couch in front of a tv with your wonderful dog who will be ridiculously excited to see you... so excited she will wet herself.. that is exciting.

Congrats to vivian on her deluxe new apartment. Maybe I will send her a plant so when she becomes a hermit.. she'll have something to talk to.

I was talking to Kate on the phone and she asked me if I was going out tonight...and normally I would... b/c it's a thursday night. But for some reason, today that question seemed utterly ridiculous.. i don't know, it was funny. Sort of.

I had other stuff to say... but I got sidetracked and lost the motivation... so boo to all of you and catch ya on the flip side... yeah, I'm a huge dork who is really happy b/c I'm no longer dying... muahahahahhhaa

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 22:12:06 GMT

So... what do you do when a guy you've been kind of seeing, only kind of, for a month buys you a $140 massage and manicure at the elizabeth arden red door salon?

Yep.. that's what Joe got me... for Valentine's Day. While really sweet, it's making me really uncomfortable... I mean, jesus, that's... a lot.

Not to mention, I have the flu right now, really badly, and Joe spent all yesterday taking care of me and buying me soup and he stopped in today when he didnt have class to check on me and yeah... while it's nice and wonderful of him.. it's making me a little... panicked. This is proceeding a little too fast, a little too soon for my liking. It's one of those things where everything's fine and dandy and casual one day... and then all of a sudden it's this.. relationship. I can't deal, but I can't just back out b/c it'd crush him.

Agh.

Oh yeah, and the flu? sucks. It's been making it's way through my dorm like the plague.. and I've managed to take care of everyone and yet somehow avoid it... but I think just never getting a chance to sleep finally lowered my immune system and made me sick. On friday night, I got an hour and a half of sleep, then had 8 hours of training, an hour to get ready for joe's semiformal, and the actual semiformal.. which we left at midnight b/c i was too exhausted/sick to do anything.

Arrrrrrghhhh.

I'm going home this weekend for President's Day.. I need the rest and the babying... hopefully I won't still be sick when i have to take the plane.

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 02:33:05 GMT

I have to write an essay on Erik Erikson for Developmental Psych class... anyone who was in D.Maika's class understands how incredibly annoying it is that i have to write about his theory... again.

Otherwise I've been doing really well. Joe's roommate Brady got a stomach flu and Joe came down with it last night... so it's only a matter of time until I'm puking my guts up... all I can hope for is that it goes through my system quickly... ick. I went upstairs to take care of them

Otherwise, had a good weekend... on Friday I went to this awesome bar called the Exchange w/Mary and Joe.... it was really fun and Joe's fake actually works there so it was drinks all over the place. Mary and I had our first attempt at convincing people we're fraternal twins.. and of course, just our luck, the first guy we told actually had a fraternal twin who was at the bar w/him.. So he brought his twin over and the two of them got so excited and started asking us who was older and where we lived and if we had twin esp.. and mary and I were just like... "uhhhhh".. I don't know it was actually really funny.

Then of course sleep over with Joe... things are going really well. Every has a problem with it and Mary and I had a drunken arguement about it on Saturday night b/c they think joe is so amazing and this is bad for him.. but the two of us are both fine with it. Joe is totally cool w/how things are and keeping things open makes me less stressed and panicked... even though I spend every weekend with him and am not actively looking for other guys.. it's just almost comforting to know that option is open to me.

In other news, I realized I might not be able to go to the crew formal on saturday because i have my all day training for DCRCC from 9 to 5 and god knows how I'll be feeling after that. It should be interesting.

Time to watch some sex and the city, eat food, and write this stupid essay. I hope all is well with everyone.

Kate, if you read this tonight, I'll call you tomorrow.. I'm grumpy and you wouldn't have wanted to talk to me anyway.

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 19:58:08 GMT

Yeah, I know, I'm a stupid slut who never updates this thing...but when you're out living your life, there's very little time to update on life I guess.

The semester's been going really well. I've become even more concrete in my new stable attitude on things... very little upsets me now and when things do.. I handle it in a much better manner. I guess going crazy in October really helped me to be sane in 2005. It's wonderful.

I started my DC Rape Crisis Center training... even though I've only been doing it for a week it's already really intense. I'm prob. the youngest person in the group..with the majority of the other trainees being grad students and professionals... it's def. scary but also incredibly inspiring to be surrounded by so many different women of different races, backgrounds, cultures etc... It's prob. my first time where I'm seen as a peer by women who could be my mother.. or even grandmother. The material itself is very hard to swallow.. on tues. and thurs. after training I'm basically incapacitated and have a lot to absorb... I'm working on ways to better cope with the intensity of it all. Esp. after last thurs.. when the shuttle drove past the MC and I had to walk home. Normally, walking home at night is no problem at all.. esp. since I'm the girl who walks home from Rod's at 3am... but the night of training.. the last thing I want to do is walk home. So while walking home I got really paranoid and freaked out and actually started crying... it was ridiculous but def. a side affect of the training since I know other girls in the group who've experienced similar things. I told Joe about it and he got really upset and told me that next time that happens I should just call him and he'll meet me at the MC and walk me back... and while that's incredibly sweet of him, I think it's going to have to be something I work through and learn how to get over.

Joe is a boy I've been hanging out w/a lot since I got back from break.. it's strange considering how many mean things I've said about him.. but ever since coming back I think he's become a lot more secure and relaxed when talking to me.. he's not the mindless, hot-bodied, jock idiot I once thought he was... he's actually pretty intelligent and really just a very sweet guy. All of my friends like him a lot... and I adore all of his crew buddies and always have a good time w/them. While we've been doing all the things that go along w/being in a relationship, I would def. never call it that. We're both having a good time together and have agreed to leave it at that since the pressure of labels and making it more is just not something I feel the need to deal w/. But yeah, it's def. been fun and I'm going to his crew formal in two weeks... I know, sarah in a dress twice in a month.. unthinkable.

So.. yes... what else? My classes are going incredibly well... they're all extremely interesting and although the work load is utterly killer along w/my training... I'll somehow manage. It's funny, this semester I've found myself dealing w/the issue of sex every day... b/t my Sexuality in U.S Cultural History class I have three times a week, all the work that goes with that, my training, and my own typical college social life... it's just diff. aspects of sex on a constant basis. lol... it def. makes life more interesting.

Kate's coming here in a month... that, is massively exciting.

I have nothing else to say.. I hope everyone else is doing wonderfully and ill prob. talk to most of you soon.

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 00:07:11 GMT

Dear bump on my head,

Please go away. You're making my parents very nervous. I don't really like you that much either. When you do go away, could you please take your friends nausea and headache with you too? I don't really like them very much either.

More importantly, I can never "shave my head to match the 'blemish' on my face" (as my dad so eloquently put it) if I have a bump on my head.

So please, just go away.

Thank you.

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 15:38:37 GMT

So... the year in review. That's the dumbest thing ever... I could never review my whole year, i've already forgotten basically every minute thing that happened. I was friends with a lot of people... and then I wasnt... I had one relationship and a few mini ones... I went to college..I went to Hong Kong.. I went to the caribbean.. I graduated. But that is so bland. That is the most boring year in review summary ever.

I was looking at old LJs to see how I ended this LJ for the last 3 years... and this is how:

2001... "life. ugh." ..... I'm glad to see I havent changed

2002... "(btw, if you noticed the frequent use of "KATE" it was an attempt to make her feel loved b/c she feels neglected... SEE KATE? I DO LOVE YOU! I used your name TWELVE TIMES woo woo) "..... I'm glad to see I haven't changed....

2003....I ended by playing the boyfriend game... which actually was kind of amusing for me considering a year later I couldn't match half of those quotes with their respective boys... how easily we forget. I would play that now because that was actually a lot of fun, except I'd only have Pecco to add to the mix... or I could add Rod, Joe, Anders... and every other guy I've actually gotten to know AND kissed at college.. but that wouldn't work very well considering all y'all don't know any of them.

So there you go... the last 4 years of my life in review.

Aren't I just awful?